Tuesday, September 27, 2011

On Friday we will lose our beloved Kali, she will fall asleep and fly to a heavenly realm - yes!. she was diagnosed with terminal cancer 3 weeks ago and 10 days ago she lost the use of her legs. It has been a very painful time to see her in distress and we have all been unable to sleep much. Here is a picture of her when we moved to Texas 6 years ago - she loved Seattle with the big green dog parks and she was allowed to come on the bus with us - Seattle loves dogs. Even though she really enjoyed having her own garden here in San Antonio, and chasing the squirrels - San Antonio is a place where many people generally don't value the beautiful souls that dogs have. Many people here don't understand the unconditional love that a dog can give - maybe one day they will understand the God given gift that dogs are in this world. But for now, we see stray dogs and dogs kept in back yards and used as alarm systems.

We have our wonderful dog 'Spirit' who joined our family 4 months ago and he is like an angel, so tender and gentle with Kali. He is also a Shetland Sheepdog like kali, and they look very similar.

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Swiss Book

I have just edited and updated my book about Switzerland.  I also wanted to edit a name, so as to protect the identity of my first husband  and the father of my daughter - who is Swiss

Yes Switzerland really dances in my heart!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

Slideshow of my photos

Just click on any of the photos to see a description

slide show of my photographs

This is a slideshow of my photos, just learnt how to post this

Friday, February 18, 2011

Loss and Love

Life's journey IS about the ultimate experience and ache of  loss as well as the brimming bliss of love and joy. It is an art form, a picture that is painted with a kaleiderscope of colours - I have heard this Life journey, described as......... 'Leela'.

here is a video that speaks to the ache of loss:

and here is a video that speaks of the bliss of joy:

So far my books are about real life, real feelings and honesty expression - maybe I will one day write a novel with fictional characters. 
But for now, I write and I write ....and I write and its real

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Swiss Books

I am saddened to say that I have had to remove my Book about Switzerland from the online bookstores  - or more correctly said  - it has been removed.

My books are memoirs written in short story form, with a focus on a shared and human journey though life . I am convinced that we, as a unified humanity, share the kaleiderscope of feelings, experiences, challenges and joys - though we may process and work with the nuances in this 'painting of life' in our own uniqe way - nevertheless I find it profoundly beautiful to air some of those personal experiences and  feelings in the spirit of unity. How else can we join hands in our aspiration to evolve, learn and gain the clarity of spiritual and emotional wholeness.

My first husband, a Swiss man, for reasons of his own, apparently does not want his name or his past to be known or shared.  Therefore he had my book removed from the internet.

I will re-write those chapters in order to "hide" him, before publishing my Swiss book again.

In my Swiss book, I wrote a chapter about my first marriage, which was written as a deeply intense mix of tragedy and beauty because we lost our baby girl. The beauty of her birth is something that lights up my heart and to this day brings me waves of joy - the tragedy of her death leaves a wound. Perhaps my writing did step on her father's personal boundaries and expose too much for comfort - and yet it is my life I write about. He was a part of my life for ten years.

I will have to reflect on how to re-write this part of my life while respecting his privacy.

Writing for me, has been such a comfort and form of authentic expression. 

I also published a tribute to our daughter here:


Her grave has been taken away, as is the Swiss custom. After 20 years, graves are removed.

Can you imagine my joy when I found an online site to pay tribute to my daughter, it was almost like having her grave. AND  I finally was able to have her birth certificate in my hands, after all these years.  In Switzerland births and deaths are noted in a 'Blue Book, which only the husband has access to. Maybe things have changed now.

I took the time to request her birth certificate, which was sent to me from Switzerland and I joyously posted it with her tribute.  My tears of joy were so deeply rooted in the heart - and yet this too has been removed by Faye's father.  Her birth certificate was removed a few days ago.  I miss seeing it on her tribute.

The older Swiss culture is very private - and though I respect that trait,  I am aware that, in my view, my Swiss ex-husband had a particularly rigid outlook on life.

I will honour the memory of our daughter for my whole life - and I celebrate her existence in this world. It puzzles me why her father would not wish this to be publicly known, yet  I respect his choice, even though it appears to be denying his own footprints in life.

Here she is, my little angel who would now be 37 years old

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Its February, time really flies and I have a birthday coming up - again.  February always reminds me of snowdrops, which is the first sign of blessed growth  after the cold winter months.  I wrote a story about snowdrops in my book about 'Childhood'.
Click on the link below to see my story:


I don't have any photos of snowdrops myself, but one day maybe I will find some and be there at the right moment. Here are some bluebells!!

Here is a video and music that I think is really beautiful by Jon & Vangelis:

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Charmiene's Books: MIDDLE AGE

Charmiene's Books: MIDDLE AGE


Do you look back at your choices and decisions and wish they had been different? Do we really know how things would have turned out had we made different decisions?  I know that it is easy to look back with the added wisdom of maturity.

I find it is a time in my life where I am not only looking forward but also looking back at events and memories. 
I often wonder why I left Switzerland when I did - because I had worked so hard to gain entrance into Zurich University and I succeeded! It was one of the happiest times in my life, to be studying for my degree in Ethnology.  I loved it!!  So why did I leave?  I simply don't know.
Things seemed to line up so perfectly to push me into a move to Hawaii - America - India and the Osho spiritual community. I think I tried really hard to NOT make this move.  Was I weak willed? Did I give in to an easy way out?  Did I NOT continue fighting for my truth?

This makes me wonder  whether there is a 'plan' that pushes us onto a path of learning or simply a path that we must walk on ........no matter how much we resist it.........we get that push. 

Do we?  

I look back and see how I COULD have stayed in Switzerland, finished my degree and lived a secure lifestyle.  Instead I've lived a nomadic lifestyle and written 8 books and still writing and don't feel very secure on a material level. Yet I feel rich on many other levels. 

Is there a time in our life when we look back at the choices and decisions we have made?  Is it a time to be at peace with those decisions?  Ultimately, as Ramesh Balsekar says: "It is what it is".

I remember at age 29, I wanted to go to Africa and do voluntary humanitarian work.  I have that same feeling now.

I love this song by Susan Boyle, hope you enjoy it too:


I would love to hear your comments and insights of your own path of choices


Monday, January 10, 2011



I had the feeling that this new year will bring inner strength and courage to stand strong in what we feel - peacefully. I have felt saddened by the political rhetoric here in America. Hopefully things will become more evolved, peaceful and humanitarian in the political arena.

LeRoy and I went on a driving trip to Taos and Arizona. Kali, our Sheltie came with us and she loves driving trips too. We visited Zeno, who I haven't seen for 30 years. We found a wonderful organic vegetarian cafe called:    CHOCOLATREE     http://www.chocolatreecafe.com/
 in Sedona.  I felt I was in the Nirvana of  eating.

Here are some photos

Here are some photos: