Friday, February 18, 2011

Loss and Love

Life's journey IS about the ultimate experience and ache of  loss as well as the brimming bliss of love and joy. It is an art form, a picture that is painted with a kaleiderscope of colours - I have heard this Life journey, described as......... 'Leela'.

here is a video that speaks to the ache of loss:

and here is a video that speaks of the bliss of joy:

So far my books are about real life, real feelings and honesty expression - maybe I will one day write a novel with fictional characters. 
But for now, I write and I write ....and I write and its real

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Swiss Books

I am saddened to say that I have had to remove my Book about Switzerland from the online bookstores  - or more correctly said  - it has been removed.

My books are memoirs written in short story form, with a focus on a shared and human journey though life . I am convinced that we, as a unified humanity, share the kaleiderscope of feelings, experiences, challenges and joys - though we may process and work with the nuances in this 'painting of life' in our own uniqe way - nevertheless I find it profoundly beautiful to air some of those personal experiences and  feelings in the spirit of unity. How else can we join hands in our aspiration to evolve, learn and gain the clarity of spiritual and emotional wholeness.

My first husband, a Swiss man, for reasons of his own, apparently does not want his name or his past to be known or shared.  Therefore he had my book removed from the internet.

I will re-write those chapters in order to "hide" him, before publishing my Swiss book again.

In my Swiss book, I wrote a chapter about my first marriage, which was written as a deeply intense mix of tragedy and beauty because we lost our baby girl. The beauty of her birth is something that lights up my heart and to this day brings me waves of joy - the tragedy of her death leaves a wound. Perhaps my writing did step on her father's personal boundaries and expose too much for comfort - and yet it is my life I write about. He was a part of my life for ten years.

I will have to reflect on how to re-write this part of my life while respecting his privacy.

Writing for me, has been such a comfort and form of authentic expression. 

I also published a tribute to our daughter here:


Her grave has been taken away, as is the Swiss custom. After 20 years, graves are removed.

Can you imagine my joy when I found an online site to pay tribute to my daughter, it was almost like having her grave. AND  I finally was able to have her birth certificate in my hands, after all these years.  In Switzerland births and deaths are noted in a 'Blue Book, which only the husband has access to. Maybe things have changed now.

I took the time to request her birth certificate, which was sent to me from Switzerland and I joyously posted it with her tribute.  My tears of joy were so deeply rooted in the heart - and yet this too has been removed by Faye's father.  Her birth certificate was removed a few days ago.  I miss seeing it on her tribute.

The older Swiss culture is very private - and though I respect that trait,  I am aware that, in my view, my Swiss ex-husband had a particularly rigid outlook on life.

I will honour the memory of our daughter for my whole life - and I celebrate her existence in this world. It puzzles me why her father would not wish this to be publicly known, yet  I respect his choice, even though it appears to be denying his own footprints in life.

Here she is, my little angel who would now be 37 years old

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Its February, time really flies and I have a birthday coming up - again.  February always reminds me of snowdrops, which is the first sign of blessed growth  after the cold winter months.  I wrote a story about snowdrops in my book about 'Childhood'.
Click on the link below to see my story:

I don't have any photos of snowdrops myself, but one day maybe I will find some and be there at the right moment. Here are some bluebells!!

Here is a video and music that I think is really beautiful by Jon & Vangelis: