I find it is a time in my life where I am not only looking forward but also looking back at events and memories.
I often wonder why I left Switzerland when I did - because I had worked so hard to gain entrance into Zurich University and I succeeded! It was one of the happiest times in my life, to be studying for my degree in Ethnology. I loved it!! So why did I leave? I simply don't know.
Things seemed to line up so perfectly to push me into a move to Hawaii - America - India and the Osho spiritual community. I think I tried really hard to NOT make this move. Was I weak willed? Did I give in to an easy way out? Did I NOT continue fighting for my truth?
This makes me wonder whether there is a 'plan' that pushes us onto a path of learning or simply a path that we must walk on ........no matter how much we resist it.........we get that push.
I look back and see how I COULD have stayed in Switzerland, finished my degree and lived a secure lifestyle. Instead I've lived a nomadic lifestyle and written 8 books and still writing and don't feel very secure on a material level. Yet I feel rich on many other levels.
Is there a time in our life when we look back at the choices and decisions we have made? Is it a time to be at peace with those decisions? Ultimately, as Ramesh Balsekar says: "It is what it is".
I remember at age 29, I wanted to go to Africa and do voluntary humanitarian work. I have that same feeling now.
I love this song by Susan Boyle, hope you enjoy it too:
(CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW)
I WAS BORN TO BE