Tuesday, January 18, 2011


Do you look back at your choices and decisions and wish they had been different? Do we really know how things would have turned out had we made different decisions?  I know that it is easy to look back with the added wisdom of maturity.

I find it is a time in my life where I am not only looking forward but also looking back at events and memories. 
I often wonder why I left Switzerland when I did - because I had worked so hard to gain entrance into Zurich University and I succeeded! It was one of the happiest times in my life, to be studying for my degree in Ethnology.  I loved it!!  So why did I leave?  I simply don't know.
Things seemed to line up so perfectly to push me into a move to Hawaii - America - India and the Osho spiritual community. I think I tried really hard to NOT make this move.  Was I weak willed? Did I give in to an easy way out?  Did I NOT continue fighting for my truth?

This makes me wonder  whether there is a 'plan' that pushes us onto a path of learning or simply a path that we must walk on ........no matter how much we resist it.........we get that push. 

Do we?  

I look back and see how I COULD have stayed in Switzerland, finished my degree and lived a secure lifestyle.  Instead I've lived a nomadic lifestyle and written 8 books and still writing and don't feel very secure on a material level. Yet I feel rich on many other levels. 

Is there a time in our life when we look back at the choices and decisions we have made?  Is it a time to be at peace with those decisions?  Ultimately, as Ramesh Balsekar says: "It is what it is".

I remember at age 29, I wanted to go to Africa and do voluntary humanitarian work.  I have that same feeling now.

I love this song by Susan Boyle, hope you enjoy it too:


I would love to hear your comments and insights of your own path of choices



Carole said...

I think we talked about this when we met last summer. I feel that sometimes we make the decisions we have to, not necessarily the ones we want to.
I am also sure that ultimately we keep moving toward the destination we are meant for.

Charmiene's Books said...

Yes, I do believe that we walk a path, towards the destination that we must move to - even though we may resist.